American Idol 2012 - Week 5 - Idols

1. Colton Dixon - Everything (Lifehouse)
Oh dear, he was dreadful this week. I had no idea he was even possible of being that bad. It stated off badly, and continued badly before ending... Badly. It was the, you know, emotion. For reals. Oh well, whatever takes the pressure off Heejun.
"It wasn't about vocal acrobatics". Well, that's one way to put it, JLo, even if you meant it as a compliment.

2. Skylar Laine - Gunpowder and Lead (Miranda Lambert)
Needless to say, Skylar was in her country element, even if her voice fell a little short. She made up for it in enthusiasm, though.
"That was over the top"- Steven Tyler.
"......." - audience (before eventually assuming it meant "good".)

3. Heejun Han - A Song For You (Donny Hathaway)
See, I'm not just rooting for him because he amuses me. When he wants to be, he is amazing. It wasn't perfect, but it was everything I wanted it to be.

4. Hollie Cavanagh - Jesus, Take The Wheel (Carrie Underwood)
What's up with Hollie's accent this week? Anyway, Carrie has big shoes to fill, and whilst Hollie's not quite there I have to give her props once more for pushing herself, and almost pulling it off. After being shown specifically how to emote, it was peversely impressive how emotional it wasn't.

5. Deandre Brackensick - Sometimes I Cry (Eric Benet)
Which came first, this song or "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys? Whichever it was, I hope they sued. Deandre's voice is amazing and this was no exception, even if he overdid the falsetto at the end. However, I'm coming to the slow realisation that I'm not going to like his album. Bored now.

6. Jessica Sanchez - Sweet Dreams (Beyoncé)
Considering she slowed it right down to a ballad, that was a remarkable impression of Beyoncé's voice. Do they have Stars In Their Eyes over there? Easily the best performance so far tonight. *Looks up who's left to perform.* Easily the best performance tonight.

7. Phillip Phillips - Still Raining (Johnny Lang)
Phillip's back on Scotty McCreery form. I'm assuming it was good. A standing ovation from the judges? Hmmm... maybe not, then.

8. Joshua Ledet - Ken Lee (Mariah Carey)
It made him cry. Me too. For very different reasons. I really REALLY want him to go home. He's going to win isn't he?

9. Elise Testone - Whole Lotta Love (Led Zeppelin)
Love the spontaneous "Dreams" duet with Stevie Nicks during rehearsals. If it hadn't been for The Corrs I'd have been lost.
For many, this is hallowed ground Elise has chosen to walk on. For me, too, I really miss Top of the Pops. It was Elsie being Elise, pure and simple. Again, not really my thing but it sounded sort of good to me, and certainly came across as sincerely authentic.

They also performed in trios, so I'll cover them quickly.
The Stevie Nicks/Fleetwood Mac one was your usual meh group tosh.
The MJ one was mostly good.
The Madonna one could have been better (i.e. without Skylar).

RESULTS SHOW

Nicki Minaj is one odd-looking woman. That performance was really uncomfortable to watch, it was like she had Altzeimer's or something. Mutton dressed as lamb, yet obviously young. Ridiculous Lola Eurotrash boobs in a bad wig. And that song is really incongruous in itself, catchy and twee then stomping and hardcore. But she's on the new Madonna album. Twice. And calls Madonna the "one queen", so she's cool. Just a bit odd.

Jimmy Iovine hits the nail on the head with his critiques again, glad he called out both Colton and Joshua, but think he was a bit harsh on Heejun. Just a bit.

Last year's winner (yep, really) Scotty McCreery (how I don't miss typing that bloody "y" on his card-carrying, bible-bashing Christian name). I'd forgotten how much his big voice doesn't suit his little body and how upsetting his bumfluffy hair is. I'm a bit disappointed he didn't do his traditional "pinching one out" move on the up-tempo song. Oh well, what does he care? He's handed a platinum disc that he's earned by selling a million copies of his debut album. Not bad considering it's probably the only copy of that album in the world that's on a disc.

The bottom three are revealed to be Hollie, Heejun and Skylar.

Heejun is out. No freaking way is he getting the save. But I have to admit he stayed much longer than I expected. He gives us an encore performance of A Song For You that's even better than his first. I think a little piece of me just died.

American Idol 2012 - Week 4 - Billy Joel

This week, the contestants are getting styling advice from Tommy Hilfiger (COUGH Ali G COUGH COUGH), and vocal advice from Diddy (Puff Daddy), the rapper who famously can't even rap, let alone dance or sing. At least it gave me something else to talk about.

1. Deandre Brackensick - Only The Good Die Young.
A strange song choice for someone with Deandre's voice, one of the ballads would have been a better fit. This was yet another phoned-in performance from Deandre, with the addition of some cringe-inducing dad dancing (think Don "No Soul" Simmons, or Carlton Banks). His vocals were decent, but unremarkable. He's rapidly moving from an early favourite to a bit of a bore.

2. Erika Van Pelt - New York State Of Mind.
On Tommy's advice, Erika chops off her hair and I have to say I'm undecided. Yes, it looks classy and definitely suited the song, but it has taken away some her edge. Next week will be the proof either way, I guess. The performance was a little bit boring, but her vocals were phenomenal. And a big FUCK YOU to Randy for castigating her decision to avoid those hideous "runs" at the end. I'm totally with Erika on that- less is definitely more (and none is better). Oh, and the "I love you"-screaming audience need to die.

3. Joshua Ledet - She's Got A Way.
It started beautifully, his voice having that velvety smooth Luther vibe. Then the choir kicked in, he got a bit carried away with his "oh yeah"s... but then restrained himself and kept the ad libs relatively in check. He definitely avoided last week's trainwreck.

4. Skylar Grey - Shameless.
I'm not familiar with this song, but I'm assuming she gave it her country twist, as I was hoping last week. The rather cheesy choreography didn't help, especially the walk-and-sing and arm-around-the-pianist moments. Overall, there was pretty much no impact but I liked what she did, vocally and disagree with the judges over her lower register, it sounded fine. Which is increasingly rare.

5. Elise Testone - Vienna.
Is she still here? I thought we'd lost all of the weak links at this point. Evidently not. I have to give her props for picking a song that few would know- I wish it would happen more often. Of course, they need to pick a good song, and I can't say Elise (or ANYONE so far tonight) has. I quite liked the more subtle first half over the shouty second half, but given the standing O for last week's Joshua atrocity I can't blame her for trying. And it worked. For the judges, anyway.

6. Phillip Phillips - Movin' Out (Anthony's Song).
There was something nicely distinctive about Phillip's vocals this week that appealed to me, although the slowing of the song didn't work as much (but at least it wasn't a repeat of the Phil Collins debacle). I will agree with the judges in their praising of Phillip's choice to ignore Diddy and Hilfiger's advice. For want of a better word.

7. Hollie Cavanagh - Honesty.
Firstly, her styling was a travesty. Cream jacket, grey trousers and sparkly top. WTF? The judges were sort of right about Hollie's vocals, she is picking songs that are at the very limits of her range and you can see her overthinking as she's performing. But she's improving week after week, and even with the slight pitch issues, she sounded amazing. I think I may have underestimated her, we might have another Lauren Alaiana here.

8. Heejun Han - My Life.
Oh Heejun. I do love you, but I'm hiding behind a cushion right now. I'm not sure if's more due to your comedy spin on the ballad fake-out, WTF you are wearing, or the seriously sub-par vocals. I hate to say it, but I'm starting to suspect it isn't Elise who is now the weakest link.

9. Jessica Sanchez - Everybody Has A Dream.
I'm sure Peacocks used to sell the lace nightie she seemed to be wearing. Finally, a deserved Standing O. THAT is how you belt without shouting, and how you ad lib without tunelessly yodelling. She is back in her rightful place as front runner in this competition.

10. Colton Dixon - Piano Man.
The big performer kept it simple. Just him, his piano and his vocals, and it worked rather nicely. It got a bit cheesy when the rest of the band kicked in, and his vocals felt pushed in a similar way to Hollie's, but it was definitely the most emotional, storytelling performance tonight.

RESULTS SHOW

Oh dear, the group song is back. It was even worse than I could ever have imagined. Less said about it the better, as these contestants are too good for this crap.

Bottom three:
Deandre, Erika, Heejun.
Out: Erika!?!?! WTF?

American Idol 2012 - Week 3 - Birth Year

Blimey. Ryan Seacrest was one ugly baby. And I'm aware that most of the songs listed below are credited to cover versions, rather than the original performers. But since the theme this week is the year of each contestant's own birth, it's the version from that year which qualifies the song.

1. Phillip Phillips - Hard To Handle (The Black Crowes, 1990)
I'm finding it hard to comment on Phillip Phillips, much in the way I found it difficult with Scotty last year. He does his growly bluesy rock thing, hanging off his mic stand with authenticity in a way with which I simply can't find fault. And yet I can't find myself in the slightest bit excited either. It's good, I guess, but it's not for me. I can totally relate over the kidney stones btw. Been there, not nice. Major props for singing in that kind of pain, I could barely breathe.

2. Jessica Sanchez - Turn The Beat Around (Gloria Estefan, 1995)
A strange song choice that did little to showcase Jessica's (usually) amazing vocals. It reminded me a bit of when Leona Lewis did Lady Marmalade to prove she could do up tempo, and then wisely stuck to the ballads thereon. Let's hope Jessica does the same. It was far from dreadful, but it didn't fit her in the same way it fit Gloria- another woman known for big ballads.

3. Heejun Han - Right Here Waiting (Richard Marx, 1989)
I love this song, I love Heejun and I love Heejun's voice. But for some reason it just didn't work. It sounded breathy in a way that felt a real struggle. There were some lovely moments, particularly when he went for it, but overall a huge disappointment.

4. Elise Testone - Let's Stay Together (Tina Turner, 1983)
Elise has been all over the place so far this year, clinging onto the competition by her fingernails. And yet that was the best performance so far tonight. I'm not a huge fan of that song, and it's a bit of an Idol cliché, but it suited her, it suited her voice, and she threw herself into it.

5. Deandre Brackensick - Endless Love (Luther Vandross & Mariah Carey, 1994)
Wow, he looks like a member of Milli Vanilli with his hair down. After being talked out of his original choice, Can You Feel The Love Tonight, he opts for a duet- a potentially wise decision given he could sound like both Luther and Mariah, if he chose to. Instead, he opted for a rather bland, safe, middle ground that wouldn't have melted anybody's heart, but was still quite sweet. There was the odd uncomfortable moment where he was about to go for it, started to, then backed out, causing a cringe or two. It was quite obvious that he simply couldn't be arsed this week.

6. Shannon Magrane - One Sweet Day (Mariah Carey & Boyz II Men, 1995)
This is one of those songs that's over-sung to the point of murder by the original artists, so I've been dying to hear a restrained version for years. For that reason alone, I'm grateful to Shannon for coming close, even if it was completely absent of any emotion. Unfortunately that song IS pure emotion. It's about looking forward to seeing a dead loved one again in Heaven, and she sang it as if it was about picking daisies on her way to school. And yet, another of the best tonight.

7. Colton Dixon - Broken Heart (White Lion, 1991)
No idea what song this is, so this was pretty much his opportunity to show
me what his album is going to sound like. The first half of the song completely captivated me, but once the bland- sorry, band kicked in, I lost interest. His vocals were good, although they did get a bit swamped in the second half, when he should have been in his element. WTF? Black is white this week.

8. Erika Van Pelt - Heaven (Bryan Adams, 1985)
Again, it started strong and she attempted to give it her own twist. Again, it didn't work. The big break that the rehearsal had us excited for (work with me here) just got in the way of the song. A perfect fit for her voice though.

It is now announced that Jermaine Jones has been kicked out of the competition for non-disclosure of outstanding criminal warrants. FOUR of them. He was going to sing Somewhere Out There by that mouse in that cartoon.

9. Skylar Laine - Sneaking Up On You (Bonnie Raitt, 1994)
Despite their attempts to get her to sing LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE, she stuck to her guns, and gave us her now familiar country rock thing. I can see why Jimmy Iovine and Will.I.Am (that's going the be pain in the ARSE to type when The Voice starts in the next week or so...) tried to persuade her otherwise, as there was pretty much no song here. But it's pure Skylar, and she does it well. I still would have preferred her put a country spin on a pop song. Now that she's done it that once, that's all I want from her, and anything less will not be good enough. Otherwise she's just another country star that we won't hear of again. Which I suppose is inevitable anyway, so girl done good.

10. Joshua Ledet - When A Man Loves A Woman (Michael Bolton, 1992)
In his charming VT we learn that both Joshua and Will.I.Am have similarly castigating moms. Well I now know how they feel, as Joshua sang that song like he was telling me off. The earlier tender love song about Heaven became about daisy-picking. This tender love song became, "When a man loves a woman, he holds her face and SQUEEZES IT AND SQUEEZES IT UNTIL IT POPS AND THEN SMEARS HER REMAINS ALL OVER THE WALLS." All screeches, off-melody trills and just a general barrage of self-indulgent hideousness that I hated, hated, HATED. OW, MY EARS. A standing ovation from the judges, natch. Hellish.

11. Hollie Cavanagh - The Power of Love (Celine Dion, 1993)
ORANGE! OMG she's a fucking Scouser. Probably the only time when a British child growing up with an American accent is not only acceptable, but preferable. The little girl with the big voice had a mighty task ahead, and did a surprisingly good, if not flawless, job. Actually, it came quite close to being something special, and was easily my favourite female vocal tonight.

RESULTS SHOW:

We were spared a cringe-inducing group lip-synch this week, so instead we were treated to a performance by Demi Lovato that was worse than anything we have seen (or are likely to see) from ANY of the competitors this year. Way to lower the bar. Chris Daughtry also returned to show that true professionals can be discovered in this competition. Even if the song was a bit crap.

The bottom three were revealed to be Elise, Shannon and Erika.
And so we say goodbye to Shannon, but not before she gives us a reprise of One Sweet Day, aka The Daisy-Picking Song. Given that she was supposed to prove she deserves to stay, she actually proved she was the right one to go. Which is more of a comment on how strong the competitors are this year, rather than a comment against Shannon. For all of my nit-picking, I genuinely think this is the strongest line-up I've seen for years on ANY reality show.

American Idol 2012 - Week 2 - Stevie Wonder Vs Whitney Houston

1. Joshua Ledet - I Wish.
I still can't hear the opening bars of this song without getting chills from memories of that horrid Wild Wild West movie. Cheers, Will Smith. Wiki wiki wawa away. But, anyway...
Joshua's performance was safely unremarkable. Far from terrible, more than competent, occasionally a bit screechy. Unfortunately he has zero star power. I can't see him lasting long, but he's not giving me hackles just yet.

2. Elise Testone - I'm Your Baby Tonight.
Oh, there are those hackles I was talking about. To come across as the grumpiest person in the same room as Mary J. Blige is quite an achievement. If she didn't like the change of song from The Greatest Love of All, she should have said so rather than whine like a little child. Given the mess she made of this song, maybe it was just as well, since a voice like that singing about the the children being our future may lead to mass paedocide. Awful. "It's undeniable you have an amazing voice", says JLo. Only if you don't mean it as a compliment.

3. Jermaine Jones - Knocks Me Off My Feet.
"I don't want to bore you with it". You read my mind, Jermaine. I don't know this song, so you either sang an utterly boring song perfectly, or made a great song incredibly boring. Your voice sounded velvety smooth, just wake me up if a melody decides to join us at any time.

4. Erika Van Pelt - I Believe In You And Me.
She has a very rich, deep lower register that sounded effortless, and it then freed her up for a great demonstration of her full vocal range. Another dull song choice, but an excellent showcase of her voice. I'm interested.

5. Colton Dixon - Lately.
I loved the simplicity of Colton's performance. Therefore, there isn't much to say, other than that his voice sounded fantastic, and the song sounded fantastic.

6. Shannon Magrane - I Have Nothing.
I wasn't expecting great things from the rehearsal VT, and I'm not sure the advice worked in her favour. The build to the big moments of the song removed their drama. This then encouraged her to push her voice further, but went beyonds its limits. Regrettably it meant that she then had to pull it back again, and it was horribly conspicuous. There was potential, but lots of terrible moments. She took a risk. She failed.

7. Deandre Brackensick - Master Blaster.
Nice to see him restrain himself even further, using the falsetto sparingly and just singing the song as it was written to be sung. His stage performance felt comfortable and genuine. There's still some work to do though.

8. Skylar - Where Do Broken Hearts Go?
I loved when Skylar out-sang Mary in the VT, and I found her Dolly-esque take on this song rather cute. If I didn't know this song, I would never have known it wasn't a country song. She is destined for big things in the States, trust me. Many think changing a vocal melody makes a song your own. This highlighted the difference. She. Made. It. Her. Own. There, I said it. And I'm not even sorry. Jennifer "Pot Kettle" Lopez accused her of being nasal in her vocals. She wasn't wrong, just a hypocrite.

9. Heejun Han - All In Love Is Fair.
Firstly, I LOVE that he gave his mentors HIS autograph! But despite his off-stage antics, his performance was anything but amusing. Amazing would be more accurate. Much like Colton's "Lately" earlier, he kept it simple, and his vocals sounded gorgeous; it felt like being hugged. It wasn't perfect, but its flaws just made the hugs feel warmer.

10. Hollie Cavanagh - All The Man That I Need.
This is one of my favourite Whitney songs, and this sounded very far off the mark by comparison, despite being an excellent vocal. I can't believe Randy "pitchy" Jackson found it perfect. Compared with what Skylar just did, Hollie needs to up her game in this competition.

11. Jeremy Rosado - Ribbon In The Sky.
The rehearsals sounded terrible, and my expectations were already pretty low. He wanted to prove that the judges were right to save him last week- I didn't think they were. This week, I'm certain they weren't, as that made Jermaine's song from earlier sound positively caffeinated. Yawnsville. Absolutely nothing about this guy that makes me think he deserves a spot in this competition.

12. Jessica Sanchez - I Will Always Love You.
Having set herself a rather large precedent last week, Jessica then goes on to set herself an even bigger task by picking THAT song. Not even THAT Whitney song, but THAT song. The untouchable one. Fortunately, it was near-perfect. A slight mis-step in the key change after the break, but it was barely noticeable. It was too colour-by-numbers for me to get overly excited about it though, however challenging. She's the new Pia! Let's hope she lasts a bit longer.

13. Phillip Phillips - Superstition.
From the rehearsal VT, I was led to expect a stripped-down acoustic jam version of this song. It started a little rough, sounding a little like he was on 33 again, but suddenly we were bombarded by a wall of noise that almost threatened to drown out Phillip's vocals. However, I can't deny that it made a statement, he made an impact and he's officially forgiven for last week's atrocity. I still prefer Marcus Collins's "Need You Tonight" mash-up though.

RESULTS SHOW
Top 13: "As" (Stevie Wonder)
These group performances are often cringe-making, and this was no exception. Those who were crap last night were crap again, with the surprising addition of Skylar, but nobody really stood out in a good way.

A welcome return to the stage for last year's runner up Lauren Alaina, someone who's always good value to watch, even when she doesn't intend to be. She didn't disappoint, thanks to a wardrobe malfunction involving her earpiece. Sometimes I wish country music was more popular in the UK, but then sometimes I like thinking of such artists as being my little secret pleasure.

Before the reveals of who is and isn't through, we also get critiques from Jimmy Iovine. Why they don't just make him an official judge I don't know, but he's the only one (ever) I've almost consistently agreed with, and tonight was no exception.

There was also a performance by Mary J Blige, but I've never really understood her appeal, to be honest. Let's just say she did what she does as good/bad as she ever does it. It gave me a few minutes to re-check my spelling and punctuation anyway.

The bottom three girls are: Elise, Erika and Shannon.
The bottom three boys are: Jermaine, Joshua and Jeremy.

The judges must choose between Jeremy and Elise.

The judges save Elise, so it's goodbye to Jeremy, who, frankly, shouldn't have been there in the first place.

American Idol 2012 - Week 1 - Results/Wildcard Performances

RESULTS
Round 1 - The US public choose their top 5s (in no particular order).

Girls:
1. Jessica Sanchez
2. Hollie Cavanaugh
3. Shannon Magrane
4. Skylar Layne
5. Elize Testone

Boys:
1. Phillip Phillips
2. Joshua Ledet
3. Heejun Han
4. Colton Dixon
5. Jermaine Jones

Round 2 - The judges pick six acts to perform again.

1. Jennifer Hirsh - Oh Darling (The Beatles)
Giving it LARGE on the vocals, she certainly left no doubt that she can sing.
2. Jeremy Rosado - I Know You Won't (Carrie Underwood)
A hugely emotional performance, WAY better than his previous song.
3. Brielle Von Hugel - Someone Like You (Adele)
Starting off rather rough, she gave it a bit of a rock edge and the growly vocals to match- but it veered into screechy.
4. Deandre Brackensick - Georgia On My Mind (Ray Charles)
My heart sank at his song choice; another song that's been done to death. Fortunately, he must have read my post as he stuck to his lower register, keeping the falsetto for effect, as and when required.
5. Erika Van Pelt - The Edge of Glory (Lada Gaga)
Opting for the Kitty Brucknell-favoured ballad version, she absolutely smashed it. In a (very) good way.
6. Reed Grimm - Use Me (Bill Withers)
As Hellish as I expected it would be. Writhing about the stage like a broken slinky, his vocals matched. Scoobydoobydatndoodee indeed.

So we say goodbye to...
Chelsea Sorrell
Baylie Brown
Hallie Day
Haley Johnsen
Chase Liken
Adam Brock
Aaron Marcellus
Creighton Fraker
Eben Franckewitz

Round 3 - The judges pick an act each to go through.
The final three through are:
1. Erika Van Pelt - chosen by Randy, and, after that last performance, a good call.
2. Jeremy Rosado - chosen by Jennifer, who obviously has some kind of emotional connection to him.
3. Deandre Brackensick - chosen by Steven. A no-brainer.

So we also say goodbye to...
Jennifer Hirsh (over Jeremy? Really?)
Brielle Von Hugel (another no-brainer)
Reed Grimm (good riddance)

American Idol 2012 - Week 1 - The Girls

1. Chelsea Sorrell - Cowboy Casanova (Carrie Underwood)
She's the one who looks a bit like Kimberley Locke.
Plenty of country growl in those vocals, but Carrie Underwood is a lot to live up to. Chelsea did a decent job, although it did inevitably sound a bit copycat, and all the lesser for it.

2. Erika Van Pelt - What About Love? (Heart)
She's the one who looks a bit like Patricia Arquette, the Medium years.
Erika is no Nancy Wilson, and fell far short by comparison. But if you don't know the original, it might have sounded better. There's something old-school and authoritative about her voice, but its limits were audible.

3. Jennifer Hirsh - One And Only (Adele)
She's the one who looks a little bit like Rachel from Glee. Just not as irritating.
Opting for one of the lesser-known, bluesier tracks from Adele's album has its positives and negatives in that it should make her stand out and less likely to have vocal comparisons drawn. Unfortunately, whilst she demonstrated a great voice, it was dull and forgettable.
[N.B. When this was written, I didn't realise what was to come.]

4. Brielle Von Hugel - Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay (Otis Redding)
She's the one that dressed like a mermaid. And had a REALLY irritating Mom during auditions.
Her lower register was a bit of a struggle, but the higher notes had a distinctive tone, even if it briefly bordered on nails-on-a-blackboard at times.

5. Hallie Day - Feeling Good (Nina Simone)
She's the one that looks a bit like Kim Basinger in LA Confidential.
She seemed comfortable on stage, and her voice went to some nice places, but there were a few dodgy moments too. Unfortunately, this song has been done to death on these shows, making this performance also quite forgettable.

6. Skylar Laine - Stay With Me (Faces)
She's the one with the strong Southern accent who seemed to have come dressed in the decorations from her Christmas tree.
She strutted around the stage like her hip was a spring, nodding and stomping with confidence, but had the big vocals to match, for the most part. She could be fun to watch, in a Lauren Alaina kind of way. Jennifer Lopez was spot-on with "Tina Turner does country."

7. Baylie Brown - Amazed (Lonestar)
She's the pretty, blue-eyed blonde (with her hair down) in the red dress.
"It just keeps getting better", she sings. I have some news for you, dear. It started sounding absolutely dreadful, and most certainly did not get, in any way, "better."

8. Hollie Cavanaugh - Reflection (Christina Aguilera)
She's the one that looks a bit like a young Naomi Watts.
"One of the front runners", JLo? On this evidence, I suspect not. There was a good voice in there, but unfortunately was drowned out in her (embarrassingly failed) attempts at matching Xtina's caterwauling. Had she picked a less demanding song (or even the version Mulan herself sings in the film) she would have fared a lot better.

9. Haley Johnsen - Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) (Eurythmics)
She's the blonde one with the fringe, nose piercing and see-through half-skirt thing.
Her weird hand movement reminded me of Diana Vickers, but with a very different kind of bad voice, in that it was more like a man who couldn't sing. Shouty, out-of-tune and nightmarish. "A little trainwrecky". Quite, Randy.

10. Shannon Magrane - Go Light Your World (Kathy Troccoli)
She's the blonde one with the white dress and sparkly Alice band.
The judges loved it, but it did nothing for me. It wasn't interesting enough to be bad. I admire her choice of obscure song, but it was a bit of a generic Olympic anthem that had zero impact.

11. Jessica Sanchez - I Love You I Do (Dreamgirls)
She's the Asian girl.
It was a surprisingly accurate impression of Jennifer Hudson, who performed this exact version in the Dreamgirls movie. Which, I guess, is a HUGE compliment. Probably the best of the night.

12. Elize Testone - One and Only (Adele). Again.
She's the one who sat at the piano. And looked a teeny bit like Lady Gaga, despite wearing neither household appliances nor fridge contents.
In a far more emotional rendition than Jennifer (see above), Elize certainly stole her rival's thunder by somehow making it not dull. I wasn't blown away, but she did well.

American Idol 2012 - Week 1 - The Boys

1. Reed Grimm - Moves Like Jagger (Maroon 5 & Christina Aguilera)
He's the one who decided ringing his Mom was more important than listening to his vocal coach an hour before his performance.
HATED HATED HATED what he did to the song, turning it into a horrid, jazzy borefest. Those moves were certainly those of a pensioner, but not Mick Jagger. The vocals were adequate, but far from anything extraordinary.

2. Adam Brock - Think (Aretha Franklin)
He's the one who describes himself as "white chocolate". I guess you are what you eat.
He coped surprisingly well with the vocals, as those are some enormous heels to fill. But his performance wasn't as much diva sass as it was constipated flamingo. I'm sure he felt fierce, but it was more of a tut. Loved that his blatant attempts at a crowd-pleasing shout-out for his hometown hung out there with absolutely no response.

3. Deandre Brackensick - Reasons (Earth, Wind and Fire)
He's the guy with the long blonde curls.
When it comes to falsetto, less is more and this was definitely a case of more is less. But he has the talent, a distinctive look, and the beginnings of some serious stage presence. There's some work to do, but I'm predicting some big things.

4. Colton Dixon - Decode (Paramore)
He's the guy who unwittingly upstaged his sister's audition, making it through when she didn't.
Bit of a nothing song, but he performed like it was the grand final. Piano, stage presence, ad libs, good vocal range. Another one to watch. Even if he does remind me of Aiden Grimshaw.

5. Jeremy Rosado - Gravity (Sara Bareilles)
He's the one who... Actually I don't remember him, and don't see any reason why I should have. He's a bit like a grown-up Manny from Modern Family.
Never has such a moving, beautiful song been performed so blandly. He just about hit the notes, but it was easily the worst so far. He seemed far too pleased with himself to sell the story, but somehow the judges loved it (as they have EVERY performance so far). I'm starting to miss Simon Cowell.

6. Aaron Marcellus - Never Can Say Goodbye (The Jackson 5)
He's the black guy with the trilby and glasses.
The perfect example of less is more, keeping the melisma and falsetto to a minimum, as and when required. The laid-back jazzy vibe is not my thing, and his performance didn't exactly grab me, but I can't deny those vocals were pretty spectacular, prompting the first standing ovation from the judges.

7. Chase Liken - Storm Warning (Hunter Hayes)
He's the Country boy who manages to look both fresh-faced and about ten years older than he is. Reminds me a bit of Goran Visnjic, though Steven Tyler suggested Brendan Fraser.
I guess it did what country does. Blandly competent, but his voice lacks that distinctive country twang Scotty had last year. Very... meh. I've literally forgotten it already.

8. Creighton Fraker - True Colors (Cyndi Lauper)
He's the wacky one. [Rolls eyes]. I'm always too distracted by his unintentionally stupid hair.
He has the vocals, no question. But he completely missed the emotion because he was too pleased with himself. That song can be devastating when done right, and I felt nothing. Other than the desire to punch his smug, self-satisfied face. Yuck. But good. I guess.

9. Phillip Phillips - In The Air Tonight (Phil Collins)
He's the other country one; looks a bit like Chris Martin.
The arrangement made the song unrecognisable, which may be a good thing, depending on your point of view. There's "making a song your own" and then there's playing a 45 at 33 (ask your dad.) Disappointing, but there's a distinctive growl in his voice that has some potential. If he does a dirge like this again, he can go.
Wow, Ryan discovers Phillip's dad is proud. There's a shocker that was not a complete waste of anybody's time.

10. Eben Franckewitz - Set Fire To The Rain (Adele)
He's the white teenager that looks 8. (As opposed to the black teenager that looks 8. He didn't make it.)
A powerhouse of a song, but Eben delivered a performance with all the power of a damp match. Great song, bad song choice. The low key was around the limit of his range, but it turns out he wasn't saving his voice for the big bits either. The judges clearly thought it was crap, but didn't want to say so.

11. Heejun Han - Angels (Robbie Williams)
He's the Asian.
Given that Americans pretty much only know the horrid Jessica Simpson version, he did well. He lacked the gravitas Robbie gives the song, but it still sounded very good. There's something about Heejun's bitter demeanour and deadpan expression that I simply adore.

12. Joshua Ledet - You Pulled Me Through (Jennifer Hudson)
He's the one who looks like a cross between Will Smith and Pob.
Probably the best vocals so far, there's the slightest hint of Al Green in his voice. He was verging on overdoing it, but it worked.

13. Jermaine Jones - Dance With My Father (Luther Vandross)
He's the tall one with the short dreads and insanely deep voice. He didn't get through, but has been called back as the wildcard.
I wasn't a fan in his auditions, but he may well win me over. I love that he opted for telling the song's story over showboating his vocals.