American Idol 2011 - Top 7 - Songs from 21st Century

Ensemble - So What? (P!nk)
Remember how awesome it was when we FINALLY got rid of Paul last week? Guess who's back, along with the other rejects from this season? Whatever Steve Tyler says, they only proved why they've already gone. No more no less. Now please, no more.

1. Scotty - Swingin' (LeAnn Rimes).
After getting an amusing critique over his unique mic technique (flute comparisons not inaccurate), he then uses said technique strutting around the stage, around the judges, doing his thing the way he does his thing. At least it was up-tempo and quite different from his usual stool performance. So, obviously, the judges pick THIS week to criticise him for being samey. A bit late, but nice of you to join us.

2. James - Uprising (Muse).
After getting an amusing critique over his unique dress sense, he gives a pretty impressive performance of a damn difficult song. Not a fan of the extra falsetto chorus, but apparently it was a dare from Muse themselves. You know, Muse, the arty, credible band who aren't at all sell-outs. Nope. Not at all.

3. Haley - Rolling In The Deep (Adele).
After getting an amusing critique over her growl and attitude, she appears on a stool in a polka dot gingham dress to sing a song about anger and rejection. That aside, she has never sounded better and whilst she clearly didn't get what she was singing, sounded amazing. (Mostly.)

4. Jacob - Dance With My Father (Luther Vandross).
After getting an amusing critique over his diva antics, we see him rehearsing in tears. As for the live performance, something went wrong at the beginning, but he recovered well and made it through by obviously disconnecting a little, which was understandable. Not a fan of his wailing at the end, but this is one of his strongest for weeks.

5. Casey - Harder to Breathe (Maroon 5).
After getting an amusing critique over the fact that he's batshit crazy, he goes on to make a rather good job of a very wordy song without gasping for air. I actually liked the cheesy choreography and thought it was without doubt his best performance. Not sure about him raping J-Lo's cheek though. Cue Ryan entering stage with a fake Amish beard. So THAT's what Ryan Seacrest would look like with testosterone.

6. Stefano - Closer (Ne-Yo).
After getting an amusing critique over his flirty confidence, Jimmy Iovine struggles again - in vain, again - to get the Stefano out of Stefano. Cue him strutting again, grabbing girls' hands, caterwauling and some embarrassing attempts at sexy dancing. Surprise surprise he's more in love with himself than the song - again, but at least he let the song have a shot at the beginning, before putting the Stefano into it. The vocals were alright. Up until then, anyway.

7. Lauren - Born to Fly (Sara Evans). Nope, me neither.
After getting an amusing critique over her accent (RACISTS!) Lauren does a decent job of an up-tempo country song. Can't really say any more or less than that. She gives each song its proper dues, the anti-Stefano if you will, but is in danger of falling behind in the process.

Wow, good week this week. Nobody was terrible, which is a first. Not counting Paul's cameo, of course.

My top 3: Casey, Jacob and James.

My bottom 3: Stefano. That is all. (But I wouldn't miss Scotty or Haley.)

Results Show
Jacob, Haley, Lauren and Stefano embark on a surprisingly decent version of Hey Soul Sister. Not much else to report.
We then get James, Scotty and Casey performing an initially painful rendition of Viva La Vida, but improves as they ease in.
Casey's safe, Jacob's not.

Former winner David Cook sings his new single. Everyone else pretends to care. I'm sure it'll change the world. Fo sho.

Next up, a VT (that stands for Video Tape) where the contestants watch a game of rounders, go bowling and get pampered. I notice Scotty's wearing a "Trojan Men" t-shirt. Is the good Christian boy being sponsored by a condom company?

Stefano isn't safe, Lauren and James are. Scotty is safe, so Haley isn't. And then is. So the bottom two is now Stefano and Jacob.

Katy Perry appears upside down to perform ET with Kanye West, half of whose performance was videotaped. Disappointed that Taylor Swift didn't invade the stage though. Quite a spectacular performance, to be fair, even if Katy's voice is far from flawless live.

Stefano's out. Jimmy Iovine may not have managed to get the Stefano out of Stefano's performances, but the American public have managed to take the Stefano out of American Idol. So he gives a very Stefano performance of Lately to confirm that, yep, he needs to go home.