Eurovision Song Contest 2012 - Semifinal 2

Thursday, May 24, BBC3, 8pm

Tonight sees the second of two Eurovision semifinals. 10 songs will go through to Saturday's final, 8 end here.
The UK get to vote in this one, so here's a handy cut-out-and-keep guide to which song is which.

[10pm: Updated with results]

1. Serbia
Zeljko Joksimovic
"Nije Ljubav Stvar".
With a melody that reminds me of Coldplay's "Paradise" at times, this male-fronted piano ballad is full of Eastern promise, featuring a string-laden, thumping production that builds effectively.
Hook: It doesn't really have one, but very few of the ballads are led by a male vocal.
RESULT: Through. Expected.

2. FYR Macedonia
Kaliopi
"Crno I Belo".
Starting as a female-led piano ballads, it takes a sudden diversion and rocks out in the second half. It comes out of nowhere and disappears just as suddenly, but gives the song a distinctive sound.
Hook: "Crno i belo e se".
RESULT: Through. Not what I was expecting.

3. Netherlands
Joan Franka
"You And Me".
A folksy, acoustic song with a light country vibe, it has oodles of charm and I defy you to listen without swaying or rocking your shoulders. However, it also comes with a female singer ill-advisedly wearing a Native American headdress. Think Cher singing "Half Breed".
Hook: "It's you... and me... and everybody out there".
RESULT: Out. A pity.

4. Malta
Kurt Calleja
"This Is The Night".
Starting off promising, this has some nice chords, a decent pop production, and then builds effectively to a hugely disappointing chorus.
Hook: "Hey-ey-ey-ey-e-yay".
RESULT: Through. I'm happy.

5. Belarus
Litesound
"We Are The Heroes".
Beginning with a ballad fake-out, this soon turns into a pop-dance floor filler with a rousing, singalong chorus. I recommend hunting down the original, rockier mix that was far superior, but it's a pretty decent song.
Hook: "We are the wieners, we are the heroes". I assume they mean "winners".
RESULT: Out. Should have stuck with the rock mix.

6. Portugal
Filipa Sousa
"Vida Minha".
A rather anonymous ballad with an Eastern vibe, it is not especially memorable nor unpleasant.
Hook: It doesn't really have one. It has mandolins, if that helps.
RESULT: Out.

7. Ukraine
Gaitana
"Be My Guest".
Gaitana's vocals are very reminiscent of Anastacia's, and the song is all fun, positivity and P.A.R.T.Y. It's a cheesy singalong Anthem with a capital A.
Hook: "You can be my guest".
RESULT: Through. Hooray!

8. Bulgaria
Sofi Marinova
"Love Unlimited"
Featuring the kind of production that was in vogue at the turn of the millennium, this dance track might sound great in a club, and is certainly one of the more contemporary-sounding songs that wouldn't sound out of place in the charts. Think Inna's "Hot". Unfortunately, Sofi performs it like it's a ballad, so I'm hoping they drag out some dancers.
Hook: "Dor-em-dem-dem-day".
RESULT: Out.

9. Slovenia
Eva Boto
"Verjamem".
A female-vocal ballad, and this one builds and builds. Throwing in harps, flutes, a military beat, and some VERY big notes, it ends just as you feel it's starting to go somewhere. But despite being the youngest competitor, Eva has a very strong voice and great stage presence.
Hook: "Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah..."
RESULT: Out. Quite gutted, actually.

10. Croatia
Nina Badric
"Nebo"
In a year of many ballads, good and bad, this falls somewhere in the middle. Beginning with a weak, sparse intro, it soon builds and builds to hugely rousing, choral climax.
Hook: Its bell chimes in the chorus.
RESULT: Out.

11. Sweden
Loreen
"Euphoria".
Now we're talking. With David Guetta consistently riding high in the UK singles chart, why this hasn't been picked up by radio and become a monster hit in the UK already mystifies me. Easily the best entry this year, this could potentially give Eurovision music some much-needed credibility with British music buyers. The best example this year of a stomping club anthem, I'd love to see this fly u-u-u-u-u-u-up the UK charts. I'm loving the simplicity of the staging, too.
Hook: "We're going u-u-u-u-u-u-up".
RESULT: Through. A no-brainer.

12. Georgia
Anri Jokhadze
"I'm A Joker"
Deep sigh. Here we go. It's one of THOSE Eurovision songs that drags the contest into disrepute and deserves disappear into the anus of forgotten entries. Little more than a list of dreadfully tenuous rhymes with "joker", he's clearly having a ball at a party I can't wait to leave.
Hook: The title says it all.
RESULT: Out. Good.

13. Turkey
Can Bonomo
"Love Me Back".
A sea shanty stretched out far beyond its welcome, this is simply awful. But still not as bad as Montenegro's Euro Neuro. "Like me like I like you and say na na na na ne na ne na." Poetry.
Hook: "Come up to my ship, baby, I'll make you fly."
RESULT: Through. Expected, unfortunately.

14. Estonia
Ott Lepland
"Kuula"
A full-on piano ballad, but with a male vocal. It's on the stronger end of the scale than most of its ballad competitors.
Hook: The title, really.
RESULT: Through. Very good news.

15. Slovakia
Max Jason Mai
"Don't Close Your Eyes".
Eurovision goes Emo! Sounding like across between 30 Seconds to Mars and Panic at the Disco, the song has a rather melodic chorus, wrapped up in heavy guitars and wailing vocals. I have mixed feelings about it.
Hook: "Don't close your eyes and pray all the night". And lots of screaming.
RESULT: Out.

16. Norway
Tooji
"Stay".
Bits of this song are ace, in particular the bridge and the first half of the chorus, but the very irritating production throws in these horrid buzzes and alarm-like synth noises that stop me from loving this as much as I otherwise might. But Tooji owns that stage much like Sweden's Eric Saade did last year.
Hook: "I don't know what I'm doing tonight, but this rush is making me stronger".
RESULT: Through. Yay!

17. Bosnia & Herzegovina
Maya Sar
"Korake Ti Znam".
One of the more forgettable female ballads. I'd elaborate, but there is little distinctive about it. It has some Celtic pan pipes towards the end, if that helps.
Hook: It doesn't have one.
RESULT: Through. No mean feat in amongst all the other ballads tonight.

18. Lithuania
Donny Montell
"Love Is Blind".
A bit of a mess, to put it mildly. Jumping around in style, from ballad to poor '90s disco production and back again, you can't help but feel there's a song in there somewhere trying to get out, but failing. By no means terrible, but I don't know what Lithuania were thinking entering this. The blindfold is in particularly bad taste.
Hook: "Love is blind, it's true".
RESULT: Through. A big surprise.