The X Factor 2012 - Week 3 - Club Classics

TEAM GARY BARLOW
1. Christopher Maloney - Waiting For A Star To Fall [Boy Meets Girl]
I love this song, but this was cringey cruise ship yellowcoat cabaret karaoke at its finger-clicking, jazz-hands cheesiest. The vocals were far from perfect. It was good fun and I'd have been happy with it, but as a credible performance from a potential music artist it failed miserably.

TEAM LOUIS WALSH
2. MK1 - Gypsy Woman [Crystal Waters]/ Pass Out [Tinie Tempah]
I hated the first song first time round, and whilst they updated its beats, it was just as crap, in exactly the same way. But stopping one song and starting another is not a mash-up, and the second song was completely pointless.

TEAM NICOLE SCHERZINGER
3. Jahmene Douglas - Say A Little Prayer [Aretha Franklin]
Out come the sob stories, albeit reluctantly (again), but let's face it, Jahmene's voice doesn't usually need it. This week, however, he rivalled Cristopher in the cheese stakes, but the emotional hangover from the sob story have clearly had an impact, so I'll give him a one-week reprieve. Although this song is not what I'd call a club classic, even with a "Mercy" [Duffy] background mash up.

TEAM TULISA
4. Jade Ellis - Free [Ultra Naté]
Given a nice Emeli Sandé drum-n-bass vibe, the song suited her voice better than I would have thought and I quite liked the attitude staging and choreography. Something was lacking, but she was demonstrably ill so she can have a pass too. Not that she needs it.

TEAM NICOLE
5. James Arthur - Sexy And I Know It [LMFAO]
Erm....... O....kaaaay.... Of all the dance anthems that can be turned into folksy acoustic songs, this is pretty near the bottom. He scowled throughout his "fun" song like he wanted to kill the first three rows, but his vocals were pretty flawless. He's the Anti-Chris, if you will.

TEAM LOUIS
6. Union J - When Love Takes Over [David Guetta & Kelly Rowland]
Not a patch on Matt Cardle's Clocks mash-up version from two years ago, but you can't keep a great song down and they did a decent job. Nicole made good points about their lack of harmonies and energy, but even that was only a partial issue.

TEAM NICOLE
7. Rylan Clark - On The Floor [Jennifer Lopez]/ Don't Stop The Music [Rihanna]/ I See You Baby [Groove Armada]
On mute, he's fantastic. Unfortunately, I'm typing this and therefore mostly listening. He is hands-down the best performer. But this is X Factor, not BGT.

TEAM TULISA
8. Lucy Spraggan - Titanium [David Guetta & Sia]
A big song, and credit where it's due, Lucy's voice held up surprisingly well. Granted, we are getting samey performances, but I really liked the arrangement and am nowhere near bored of her yet.

TEAM GARY
9. Kye Sones - Save The World [Swedish House Mafia]
I'm not convinced that this was as big an improvement on last week, vocally, as it needed to be but it was an improvement, and did make a bigger impact. Still some flat notes though.

TEAM LOUIS
10. District 3 - Beggin' [Madcon/Four Seasons]/ Turn Up The Music [Chris Brown]
With a lot to prove, having (ridiculously) survived last week's (alleged) sing-off, they certainly brought lots of energy. The harmonies were definitely improved, although the Chris Brown section was awful, but they ended on a high.

TEAM NICOLE
11. Ella Henderson - You Got The Love [The Source & Candi Staton]
Another big song, and this time the big voice to match. Nice to hear this minus the Florence screech, although her ad libs subtracted, rather than added. Why the judges misinterpreted Gary's positive comments I don't know. Well, actually I do. See last week.

RESULTS
The bottom two are revealed and perform;

TEAM LOUIS
1. MK1 - The Man Who Can't Be Moved [The Script]
Oh dear. Exceptionally bad female vocals with a rap does not a good performance make, no matter how emotional the performance.

TEAM GARY (yet again)
2. Kye Sones - I Can't Make You Love Me [Bonnie Raitt/George Michael]
Sucks to be Gary Barlow right now. Kye gave a far better, stripped-down vocal here than last night's bigger production. No competition. So he's probably going home.

Louis sends home Kye.
Gary sends home MK1.
Nicole sends home MK1.
Tulisa sends home Kye. Wow, she really is out-Louis-ing Louis.

DEADLOCK
The Great British public send home MK1. Bye. Don't let the door hit your arse on the way out. Or do.