Eurovision 2015 Semifinal 1 (Preview, updated with results)

Tuesday 19th May 2015, 8pm BBC3

Eduard Romanyuta - I Want Your Love (Moldova)
The young Ukrainian singer, looking like a cleaned-up Axl Rose, swaggers around with his NYPD dancers, trying to infuse some attitude into a pretty silly but catchy pop song. Not a favourite with the fans; do not expect to see this again on Saturday night.
Memorable bit: “What I want, what I want, what I want want want want”
Should qualify? No
Will qualify? No

Result? Out.

Geneaology - Face the Shadow (Armenia)
They say a camel is a horse designed by a committee. This feels like a song written by a committee. Made up of Armenian descendants from the four corners of the Earth, this super-group is anything but super, as the voices compete horribly, rather than blend beautifully, and even the political undertones (oblique references to the 100th anniversary of the oft-denied Armenian genocide) can’t make this caterwauling mess any more interesting.
Memorable bit: “Don’t deny…” (the original, more political title of the song)
Should qualify? No
Will qualify? No

Result? Through. Ugh.

Loïc Nottet - Rhythm Inside (Belgium)
A very interesting one this. Teenager Loïc is an amazing dancer with a massive voice (YouTube his version of Sia’s “Chandelier” for proof of both) but his song is a moody Lourde-esque mid-tempo song whose sparse musical composition comprises of little more than clicks, bass bursts and drums beats, and yet makes a big impact, especially with its rousing chorus and unique choreography.
Memorable bit: “And if we die tomorrow…” and the black & white images and sparse, rhythmic music.
Should qualify? Yes
Will qualify? Yes

Result? Through

Trijntje Oosterhuis - Walk Along (The Netherlands)
After a very close second-place near-victory last year, the Netherlands have opted for a safer approach this year, with a mid-tempo ballad that’s catchy as hell. It is extremely repetitive, especially after a few listens, but still an absolute pleasure to my ears. Unfortunately it loses something in its live performance.
Memorable bit: "Why, why-y-y-y, why-y-y-y”
Should qualify? Yes
Will qualify? No

Result? Out. Sob.

Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät - Aina Mun Pitää (Finland)
The first of the competition’s two biggest talking points (the other being Australia), this band is comprised of adults with learning difficulties (including a drummer with Down’s Syndrome). They will get the sympathy vote, but don’t need it; they are a well-known, bona fide, stadium-filling success in their own right. The song, to quote Bernard Black, is “dreadful, but it’s short”. Clocking in at 1:28, they could play it twice and still come in under the three-minute limit. As it is, it’s loo long.
Memorable bit: The special needs punk band.
Should qualify? No
Will qualify? Yes

Result? Out.

Maria Helena Kyriakou - One Last Breath (Greece)
This year Greece have opted for the big female power ballad, and it’s for the most part a big success. Unfortunately, it ends at around 2:15 but goes on for another desperate 30 seconds.
Memorable bit: “I’m begging you, take me”
Should qualify? Yes
Will qualify? Yes

Result? Through.

Elina Born & Stig Rästa - Goodbye to Yesterday (Estonia)
The first of two fan-favourite downbeat duets this year (see also Norway), this one kind of passed me by on first few listens, largely thanks to the gruff, uninterested male vocals and the “oh wait, THAT was the chorus?” moment. But there is some twisted charm in this tale of a man caught sneaking out of his girlfriend’s house in the early hours.
Memorable bit: “I didn’t want to wake you up” and the Bond-theme-esque guitar riff.
Should qualify? Yes
Will qualify? Yes

Result? Through.

Daniel Kajmakoski – Autumn Leaves (FYR Macedonia)
A gorgeous mid-tempo pop ballad with a lovely, rousing chorus with a Balkan vibe. I seem to be the only one falling under its spell but my only criticism is it’s way too short. The choreography – featuring 90s RnB sensations Blackstreet - is a bit distracting, however.
Memorable bit: “My heart is beating like a million drums”
Should qualify? Yes
Will qualify? No

Result? Out. Big sob.

Bojana Stamenov - Beauty Never Lies (Serbia)
The first of many girl power anthems this year, this one starts off like a ballad, with a thumping beat over the chorus and cheesy yet heart-warming lyrics of a girl’s discovery of confidence. In the final third it turns rather unexpectedly into a disco anthem, and starts losing me- I’d have preferred one or the other.
Memorable bit: The plus-size girl singing, “Yes I’m different, and it’s okay”
Should qualify? Yes
Will qualify? No

Result? Through. Yay!

Boggie - Wars For Nothing (Hungary)
A repetitive, acoustic anti-war ballad. Very cheesy, but quite effective if you choose to go with it.
Memorable bit: The gun tree.
Should qualify? No
Will qualify? Yes

Result? Through.

Uzari & Maimuna - Time (Belarus)
A very catchy duet between a man and a female violinist, the song powers along until it takes an instrumental diversion at the second chorus then takes a bit too long to recover. A shame, as there's a decent song in there, but I'm hoping it's memorable enough.
Memorable bit: “Time is like thunder, ah- ah”
Should qualify? Yes
Will qualify? Yes

Result? Out. Hmph.

Polina Gagarina - A Million Voices (Russia)
Another year, another peace ballad from Russia. You have to admire their cheek, especially as silencing millions of voices is their speciality. As it is, it's a great power ballad, and the effective staging will make it a guaranteed qualifier.
Memorable bit: "We believe, we believe in a dream"

Should qualify? Yes
Will qualify? Yes

Result? Through.

Anti-Social Media - The Way You Are (Denmark)
A 1960s pastiche, with its jangly guitars and singalong chorus, this is definitely a stand-out amongst the ballads this year, but may not be strong enough to qualify.
Memorable bit: "It's the way you are, it's just the way that you are"
Should qualify? No
Will qualify? No

Result? Out.

Elhaida Dani - I'm Alive (Albania)
A stirring girl power ballad that builds with crashing drums, but ultimately doesn't go anywhere special.
Memorable bit: "Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay"
Should qualify? No
Will qualify? Yes

Result? Through.

Voltaj - Del La Capat/All Over Again (Romania)

A party political broadcast on behalf of UKIP, this concentrates on the plight of the children left behind when parents leave Romania to go abroad to earn money for their families. This one's sung mostly in Romanian, but has the final chorus in English. It has a strong melody, but the vocalist isn't the strongest in the world.
Memorable bit: "You will be the reason, you will be the reason"
Should qualify? Yes
Will qualify? Yes

Result? Through.

Nina Sublatti - Warrior (Georgia)
The most powerful of the girl power tracks, Nina goes full-on Goth rock chick, full of attitude. There is another female "warrior" coming up in semi-final 2, but if it came to a battle, I'd put my money on Nina over Malta's Amber any day.
Memorable bit: "Ooh-ooh a warrior"

Should qualify? Yes
Will qualify? Yes

Result? Through.

So understated Armenia & Serbia, overestimated Finland's sympathy vote and Belarus (which was a long shot anyway). Roll on Thursday!