1. Casey - Heard It Through The Grapevine.
It's hard to go wrong with this song, but Seth Goon tried his best. Wasn't that keen on the pub-band bassy arrangement, but his vocals were okay. Cringing was at a minimum, compared to his previous performances. Though not entirely absent, obviously.
2. Thia - Heatwave.
Such a big song with such a big arrangement made her voice sound very small and trebly. However, what was audible was in tune and on pitch. Plus, she stuck to the melody which earns extra points from me. She's no superstar, but deserves to be here for a while yet.
3. Jacob - You're All I Need To Get By.
Finally, the performance Season 10 has been waiting for. Superb. Restrained, controlled and, most importantly, sounded fantastic.
4. Lauren - You Keep Me Hangin' On.
Easily her best performance to date. Supremely confident. Pun intended. There's something of the Kellie Pickler about her- she's not going to win, but will be fun to watch while she's here.
5. Stefano - Hello.
I can't believe ANYONE has never heard this song before! Wow. Again with the painful facial expressions and overdone melisma, but it was relatively pleasant, if a bit indulgent. J-Lo was spot on with her critique, basically saying he needs to sell the song rather than his voice. Been wishing a judge would point that out for YEARS. On ANY show.
6. Haley - You Really Got A Hold On Me.
Of all the Motown songs to choose from, why opt for the blandest, dullest, most forgettable? Growling and stomping doesn't really make up for what the song lacks, but does give some much-needed oomph, raising her overall performance up to the dizzying heights of... meh. Her best for weeks, but the weakest so far tonight.
7. Scotty - For Once In My Life.
PANIC! NO COUNTRY MOTOWN SONGS! How can a one-trick pony pull this one off? By turning a Stevie Wonder song into Lily Allen's Not Fair, that's how. Turns out the country songs Scotty sings obviously have just the one key, as here he reaches for notes he'd clearly never even heard of before. And yet he still managed to give his usual, dully competent performance. And, as always, I struggle to criticise. Or care.
8. Pia - All In Love Is Fair.
Pia wisely decides to ditch the silly disco remix this week, opting for the bland standing ballad again instead. It truly showed off her impressive pipes, but I can't say I wasn't a little bored. Vocally one of the best tonight, but again J-Lo's right. This time, about losing the finger-wagging airhorn comparisons. But fear not, she has a long way to go to be anywhere near as stiff as Rebecca Ferguson, and has a voice 1000 times better.
9. Paul - The Tracks of My Tears.
Is he still here? How? Squawking his way tunelessly through a mid-tempo semi-acoustic version, I was starting to wish for Lee Dewyze. Even the judges couldn't clap. Vocal identity is one thing, but it really needs to be for good reasons.
10. Naima - Dancing in the Streets.
Speaking of "are they still here...?" She says she wanted to honour those who have trodden the path before her. Sorry, love, but you need to take a huge diversion to go anywhere near their path. That said, it's definitely her strongest vocals so far (though I have no doubt that the lengthy drum solo helped) and I was loving the Tina Turner shoulder action. She might- MIGHT- have earned a reprieve tonight.
11. James - Living for the City.
Adam Lambert II definitely has the pipes and performance skills. It didn't exactly get me out of my seat... however, I can't fault it either.
My top 3: Jacob, Pia, Thia. James came very close, but something about it just didn't grab me this week.
My bottom 3: Haley, Scotty, Paul. Naima's earned a reprieve from me. Will America agree?
The Results Show
We kick off with clips of Marc Anthony mentoring the contestants' live performances. As Ryan explained, he's qualified because "as you know" he's married to J-Lo. Erm... okay. Nothing to do with the day job, then. But before I defend him too much, he then went on to disagree with the Mrs. over the very points for which I was praising her. Moving on, then...
Next up, the group medley. Ain't No Mountain High Enough proved ironic as the weaker contestants struggled. I could tell Paul and Naima were on-screen without looking, as they simply sounded awful. Maybe someone's lost that reprieve after all, then.
Cue Stevie Wonder with Signed, Sealed, Delivered, reminding us he hasn't sung a song worth repeating in the last 25 years, concluding with Happy Birthday for Steven Tyler. That's a 7-minute song, but fortunately they go to an ad break.
We return with some country-band fronted by a chicken-legged woman dressed like a 1980s Eurovision entry. After the very very repetitive song finishes, we learn it's Sugarland! Oh, them! Should've known. Obviously you all out there did.
Then we see the Idols discussing, obviously, wrestling. Fuck knows what it has to do with Motown, Idol or anything relevant. I'd like to think it's cashing in on the body-slammed bully on YouTube. But no. It's because Hulk Hogan is a surprise guest. I literally couldn't be less excited. Oh, he fake-punched Seacrest! Interested again. Oh. It turns out Ryan's acting is as good as his TV hosting.
We finally get to the bottom three: Thia, Stefano and Casey. We're told it's a shock result. Granted, none were in my bottom and Thia even made my top 3. Stefano has a good voice, but is too much in love with it to use it properly. Seth Goon is just the show oddity, but doesn't deserve to go yet, either.
Interestingly, the next guest is famous Idol loser-turned Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson. Appropriate, given the controversial bottom three that saw her evicted included eventual winner Fantasia. Although, according to Ryan Seacrest, she's the only Idol WINNER with an Oscar. Way to rewrite history. Twat.
Jebus, she has lost a LOT of weight. Nice performance, shame about the song. Yawn.
The results are in... and Casey's out. This could be the first potential use of the once-in-a-season judges' save. Previously, it's been wasted on contestants that left too swiftly, but this year it's been clearer who wouldn't get it.
Sure enough, barely a minute into I Don't Need No Doctor, the judges interrupt to save him. Casey virtually cardiac arrests live on TV.
Casey's breakdown was surprisingly moving and amusing. Highlights included his blow-job attempt on Seacrest and the cut to Pia whose face clearly read "that save was MINE!!!!"
Two will go next week. It'll be a bloodbath! Can't wait. See you then! ;-)
It's hard to go wrong with this song, but Seth Goon tried his best. Wasn't that keen on the pub-band bassy arrangement, but his vocals were okay. Cringing was at a minimum, compared to his previous performances. Though not entirely absent, obviously.
2. Thia - Heatwave.
Such a big song with such a big arrangement made her voice sound very small and trebly. However, what was audible was in tune and on pitch. Plus, she stuck to the melody which earns extra points from me. She's no superstar, but deserves to be here for a while yet.
3. Jacob - You're All I Need To Get By.
Finally, the performance Season 10 has been waiting for. Superb. Restrained, controlled and, most importantly, sounded fantastic.
4. Lauren - You Keep Me Hangin' On.
Easily her best performance to date. Supremely confident. Pun intended. There's something of the Kellie Pickler about her- she's not going to win, but will be fun to watch while she's here.
5. Stefano - Hello.
I can't believe ANYONE has never heard this song before! Wow. Again with the painful facial expressions and overdone melisma, but it was relatively pleasant, if a bit indulgent. J-Lo was spot on with her critique, basically saying he needs to sell the song rather than his voice. Been wishing a judge would point that out for YEARS. On ANY show.
6. Haley - You Really Got A Hold On Me.
Of all the Motown songs to choose from, why opt for the blandest, dullest, most forgettable? Growling and stomping doesn't really make up for what the song lacks, but does give some much-needed oomph, raising her overall performance up to the dizzying heights of... meh. Her best for weeks, but the weakest so far tonight.
7. Scotty - For Once In My Life.
PANIC! NO COUNTRY MOTOWN SONGS! How can a one-trick pony pull this one off? By turning a Stevie Wonder song into Lily Allen's Not Fair, that's how. Turns out the country songs Scotty sings obviously have just the one key, as here he reaches for notes he'd clearly never even heard of before. And yet he still managed to give his usual, dully competent performance. And, as always, I struggle to criticise. Or care.
8. Pia - All In Love Is Fair.
Pia wisely decides to ditch the silly disco remix this week, opting for the bland standing ballad again instead. It truly showed off her impressive pipes, but I can't say I wasn't a little bored. Vocally one of the best tonight, but again J-Lo's right. This time, about losing the finger-wagging airhorn comparisons. But fear not, she has a long way to go to be anywhere near as stiff as Rebecca Ferguson, and has a voice 1000 times better.
9. Paul - The Tracks of My Tears.
Is he still here? How? Squawking his way tunelessly through a mid-tempo semi-acoustic version, I was starting to wish for Lee Dewyze. Even the judges couldn't clap. Vocal identity is one thing, but it really needs to be for good reasons.
10. Naima - Dancing in the Streets.
Speaking of "are they still here...?" She says she wanted to honour those who have trodden the path before her. Sorry, love, but you need to take a huge diversion to go anywhere near their path. That said, it's definitely her strongest vocals so far (though I have no doubt that the lengthy drum solo helped) and I was loving the Tina Turner shoulder action. She might- MIGHT- have earned a reprieve tonight.
11. James - Living for the City.
Adam Lambert II definitely has the pipes and performance skills. It didn't exactly get me out of my seat... however, I can't fault it either.
My top 3: Jacob, Pia, Thia. James came very close, but something about it just didn't grab me this week.
My bottom 3: Haley, Scotty, Paul. Naima's earned a reprieve from me. Will America agree?
The Results Show
We kick off with clips of Marc Anthony mentoring the contestants' live performances. As Ryan explained, he's qualified because "as you know" he's married to J-Lo. Erm... okay. Nothing to do with the day job, then. But before I defend him too much, he then went on to disagree with the Mrs. over the very points for which I was praising her. Moving on, then...
Next up, the group medley. Ain't No Mountain High Enough proved ironic as the weaker contestants struggled. I could tell Paul and Naima were on-screen without looking, as they simply sounded awful. Maybe someone's lost that reprieve after all, then.
Cue Stevie Wonder with Signed, Sealed, Delivered, reminding us he hasn't sung a song worth repeating in the last 25 years, concluding with Happy Birthday for Steven Tyler. That's a 7-minute song, but fortunately they go to an ad break.
We return with some country-band fronted by a chicken-legged woman dressed like a 1980s Eurovision entry. After the very very repetitive song finishes, we learn it's Sugarland! Oh, them! Should've known. Obviously you all out there did.
Then we see the Idols discussing, obviously, wrestling. Fuck knows what it has to do with Motown, Idol or anything relevant. I'd like to think it's cashing in on the body-slammed bully on YouTube. But no. It's because Hulk Hogan is a surprise guest. I literally couldn't be less excited. Oh, he fake-punched Seacrest! Interested again. Oh. It turns out Ryan's acting is as good as his TV hosting.
We finally get to the bottom three: Thia, Stefano and Casey. We're told it's a shock result. Granted, none were in my bottom and Thia even made my top 3. Stefano has a good voice, but is too much in love with it to use it properly. Seth Goon is just the show oddity, but doesn't deserve to go yet, either.
Interestingly, the next guest is famous Idol loser-turned Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson. Appropriate, given the controversial bottom three that saw her evicted included eventual winner Fantasia. Although, according to Ryan Seacrest, she's the only Idol WINNER with an Oscar. Way to rewrite history. Twat.
Jebus, she has lost a LOT of weight. Nice performance, shame about the song. Yawn.
The results are in... and Casey's out. This could be the first potential use of the once-in-a-season judges' save. Previously, it's been wasted on contestants that left too swiftly, but this year it's been clearer who wouldn't get it.
Sure enough, barely a minute into I Don't Need No Doctor, the judges interrupt to save him. Casey virtually cardiac arrests live on TV.
Casey's breakdown was surprisingly moving and amusing. Highlights included his blow-job attempt on Seacrest and the cut to Pia whose face clearly read "that save was MINE!!!!"
Two will go next week. It'll be a bloodbath! Can't wait. See you then! ;-)
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