Eurovision Song Contest 2016 Stockholm - Semifinal 2 - Preview, updated with results

Eurovision Song Contest 2016 Stockholm - Semi-final 2

BBC4, 8pm Thursday May 12th

 

If you missed Tuesday’s first semi, you missed an absolute treat, especially the visual wonders of Iceland and the cringefest of San Marino, both amongst the nine songs that are now out of competition. However, for my fellow UK viewers, tonight’s is the better one to watch as not only are the songs better, but tonight the UK can vote on the result, whereas we couldn’t on Tuesday.

 

Latvia - Justs - Heartbeat

Last year's Latvian entry, Aminata, came top 5 so she returns this year as a songwriter and gives us another electronic-infused song, but this one is an up-tempo stomper and a real fan favourite. I'm not quite as excited about it, but its uniquely bassy production certainly makes it stand out.

Visuals: The guy in the leather jacket.

Song hook: Feeling your heartbeat, that's what I want, that's what I need...

Should qualify: No

Will qualify: Yes

Result: Through.

 

Poland - Michal Szpak - Color of Your Life

Yes, they've adopted the US spelling but let's not hold it against them. Michal's androgynous goth style and long hair match the song's 1980s stadium-rock power ballad.

Visuals: The guy with the long 80s hair.

Song hook: Oh-oh-oh-oh, tell me black or white, what colour is your life...?

Should qualify: Yes

Will qualify: Yes

Result: Through.

 

Switzerland - Rykka - The Last of Our Kind

A mid-tempo pop ballad, this one sounds pretty decent on the album, but Rykka's live vocals are hit-and-miss; the beginning in particular is frequently rough. She’s constantly experimenting with her look, and appears to have abandoned the Marilyn Monroe look in favour of a good old blue rinse. Her bizarre dancing will no doubt swamp Twitter with comments about her needing a pee or video clips superimposing fart noises.

Visuals: The (literally) smoking girl with the blue rinse

Song hook: We're the last of our kind...

Should qualify: Yes

Will qualify: No

Result: Out.

 

Israel - Hovi Star - Made of Stars

A big, dramatic power ballad, this one comes from a fabulously flamboyant guy with a big voice and even bigger personality. The song falls somewhere in the middle for me, but I am expecting Hovi to SELL this song.

Visuals: The androgynous guy with the sparkles and the dancers in the spinning hoop.

Song hook: We are made of stars, silver fragments falling, we are made of stars...

Should qualify: The song isn't as strong as at least 10 others, but I'll be disappointed for Hovi if he doesn't qualify.

Will qualify: Yes

Result: Through.

Belarus - Ivan - Help You Fly

I can't help but feel this one has been vastly underappreciated. An '80s-inspired rock/synth mid-tempo ballad, this one builds nicely and the staging looks like it's going to be an impressive visual treat.

Visuals: He’s a singer! A drummer! A guitarist! And naked with a wolf…

Song hook: I will help you learn how to fly, how to fly...

Should qualify: Yes

Will qualify: No

Result: Out.

 

Serbia - Sanja Vucic/Zaa - Goodbye (Shelter)

Yet another dramatic ballad, this one tackles domestic abuse. Given that the fellow ethnic ballad from Bosnia & Herzegovina failed to qualify, this surely increases Serbia’s chances. Potentially powerful stuff, but I keep forgetting this song exists.

Visuals: The brunette in black leather, fighting off her male dancer.

Song hook: Every time you say goodbye, you try to hold me by your side...

Should qualify: No

Will qualify: Yes

Result: Through.

 

Ireland - Nicky Byrne - Sunlight

Nicky From Westlife (to give him his actual name) was rarely given lead vocal duty in the now-defunct boyband, but his surprisingly gruff vocals hold up competently on their own. He's ditched the key-change stool ballad in favour of an up-tempo rock/pop song that's pleasantly breezy and certainly won’t alienate his mighty fan base. However, Denmark (see later) and automatic qualifiers UK have similar songs, so it’s unlikely we will see all three on Saturday.

Visuals: It's Nicky from Westlife!

Song hook: Touch who you wanna, kiss who you gotta...

Should qualify: Yes

Will qualify: Yes

Result: Out.

 

FYR Macedonia - Kaliopi - Dona

A Eurovision veteran, and a seasoned pro, the hugely charismatic Kaliopi works best when performing live, and she will certainly sell the heck out of a song that is in fact a laughably repetitive ballad. She may get huge fan support, but I suspect the similar ballad from Serbia will win out.

Visuals: The middle-aged brunette in black

Song hook: Dona, Dona, Dona, Dona, Dona, Dona...

Should qualify: No

Will qualify: No

Result: Out.

 

Lithuania - Donny Montell - I've Been Waiting For This Night

A young Eurovision veteran, Donny surprised everyone in 2012 by taking the mediocre Love Is Blind though to the finals, thanks to his great voice and funky dance moves, including his memorable one-handed flip. Sadly, they're relying on that a bit too much this year and the far superior song actually makes far less of an impact. They've thrown in a trampet and some air jets for a different kind of flip, but the song deserves better.

Visuals: The curly-haired guy who somersaults

Song hook: I've been waiting for this night, I've been waiting for this night...

Should qualify: Yes

Will qualify: No

Result: Through. A pleasant surprise!

 

Australia - Dami Im - The Sound of Silence

A huge ballad from a girl with a huge voice, this one is about the disconnect between people caused by online social media. But the reference to "face time" doesn't mean Apple's "FaceTime". Honest. Yeah, right... That said, this is easily one of my favourites this year, and Dami's live vocals are outstanding.

Visuals: The Korean-Australian sitting on a box

Song hook: Now my heart awakes to the sound of silence, and it beats to the sound of silence...

Should qualify: Hell yes

Will qualify: Yes

Result: Through.

 

Slovenia - ManuElla - Blue & Red

An up-tempo country song, this one has a lot of potential but wastes it by repeating the word "allay" over and over.

Visuals: Taylor Swift and her swinging acrobat.

Song hook: Allay, allay, allay...

Should qualify: No

Will qualify: No

Result: Out.

Bulgaria - Poli Genova - If Love Was A Crime

The former rock chick from 2011's competition returns with a powerful electronic pop song that will grab you by the lapels and have you singing along, even in Bulgarian.

Visuals: The girl with the half-shaved head, virtual dancers and TV static backdrop.

Song hook: Oh, daimi lubvta, They will never bring us down

Should qualify: Yes

Will qualify: Yes

Result: Through.

 

Denmark - Lighthouse X - Soldiers of Love

Confusingly named Lighthouse TEN, this boyband trio stand by their illuminated mics and give us a decent, if bland pop-rock song. I love it but it's unlikely to stand out in a competition, and faces the musically-similar song from Ireland.

Visuals: The boyband made up of Robb Stark, Benedict Cumberbatch and David Tennant.

Song hook: Take my hand, and never let go...

Should qualify: Yes

Will qualify: No

Result: Out.

Ukraine - Jamala - 1944

A mostly-English song about the invasion of Crimea in 1944. Not, I repeat NOT 2014. This is definitely something unique this year. Lots of ethnic wailing that will certainly alienate a huge section of the audience, but the lyrics and story behind the song warrant Jamala's emotional performance. It's one of the hot favourites for the win, but even if it does, I can't imagine it charting anywhere.

Visuals: Wailing Melanie C

Song hook: Yasligima toyalmadim

Should qualify: Not based on the song. But if the live performance is as impressive as I hear, I’m happy to change my mind.

Will qualify: Yes

Result: Through. And yes, it was that impressive.

Norway - Agnete - Icebreaker

This one will certainly catch some attention as it sounds like two different songs joined together. The up-tempo verses build to a big, ballad chorus with a completely different BPM. Will it alienate or impress? I like both songs so will be rooting for it. However Agnete has been suffering health issues, so fingers crossed her vocals hold up for the massive chorus.

Visuals: Ice. Lots of ice.

Song hook: I'll be your icebreaker, when you're stuck in frozen water...

Should qualify: Yes

Will qualify: Yes

Result: Out. A big shock.

Georgia - Young Georgian Lolitas - Midnight Gold

A clearly Britpop-inspired indie band gives us one of the least “Eurovision” songs ever, with an alternative rock track that swells into EDM in the final third. It’s not especially catchy but should stand out as something very different, especially with the psychedelic visuals.

Visuals: The psychedelic Britpop-inspired band

Song hook: The guitar riffs are actually more memorable than any of the vocal lines.

Should qualify: No

Will qualify: No

Result: Through. A HUGE shock!

Albania - Eneda Tarifa - Fairytale

A distinctive RnB-tinged ballad with guitars and electronic drums. It’s pleasant enough, but there’s very little to say about this.

Visuals: Carol Vorderman dressed in gold

Song hook: And I'll fight for you, give my life for you.

Should qualify: No

Will qualify: No

Result: Out.

 

Belgium - Laura Tesoro - What's the Pressure?

An up-tempo funk/disco number with a bassline straight out of 1970s Chic, and Jacksons sax. An uplifting song with a positive message, this concludes the semifinal with a big smile.

Visuals: A tightly-choreographed Las Vegas D.I.S.C.O

Song hook: What's pressure? You will know, you will know in the end...

Should qualify: No

Will qualify: Yes

Result: Through.

Post-Mortem

A very disappointing show. Semifinal 1 actually proved to be stronger semi in the end. In semi 2, good songs, even ones with strong staging, were performed poorly, and vice versa. Australia, Israel and Ukraine particularly stood out, but then so did non-qualifiers Albania (great vocals, but simple staging) and Belarus (great staging, but poor vocals). Special mention to Georgia, whose no-hoper of a song qualified thanks to some seriously creative camerawork.

No Nordic countries have qualified at all. Of course hosts Sweden didn't have to, but the region comes closest with Netherlands and 2 out of the 3 Baltic Boys (Latvia & Lithuania). Even nearby Ireland failed to qualify, but that's nothing new these days. Back to Gay Byrne's Late Late Show it is, then...