American Idol 2011 - Top 11 (redux) - Elton John

Here's hoping its use in the Elton VT (that stands for Video Tape) means nobody sings the Godawful "Bennie & the Jets"...

1. Scotty - Country Comfort.
One Trick Pony does his one trick again. I don't care. Oh, wait... He loves his grandma! That's a truly rare individual up there. Apparently the judges seem to actually think that. "When I saw Country I said ooh let's go!" Yes, Scotty, that's how we all feel.

2. Naima - I'm Still Standing.
No shit, Naima. Does simply being black actually make singing in a fake Jamaican accent acceptable? Apparently so. Ironically, it worked for her- obviously, the vocals were frequently off, but she gave the song her own vibe without simply singing the wrong notes, as other contestants do. For once, I'm being more positive than the judges. She hasn't just earned another reprieve from me, she's earned her place in the competition. Finally.

3. Paul - Rocket Man.
Nice acoustic arrangement. Unfortunately it was ruined about three seconds in, once the vocals started. I'm starting to think the real Bradley Cooper must have a better voice. Enough now. PLEASE go home. Stephen Tyler said that he actually loves the fact he can't sing in tune. Bit of a back-handed compliment, that one. But not inaccurate. (Except for the "love" bit, obviously.)

4. Pia - Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me.
What a load of ballads. But if it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? Right? RIGHT? WAKE UP, SHE'S FINISHED!
(But best vocal so far tonight.)

5. Stefano - Tiny Dancer.
Bless Jimmy Iovine. Ten attempts to get the Stefano out of Stefano's performance, but it seemed to pay off. I much prefer Stefano restrained like this- I just wish he'd work on his stage presence. He complained that his trousers were too tight for him to move his legs. It seemed to show on his face. But you can't help but feel he's thinking "damn I'm good", rather than telling the song's story, or selling its melody. He's gone from an early favourite to a frustrating watch. But he's heading in the right direction.

A brief- no, make that overly-long- interlude whilst Howie Mandell (the American Noel Edmonds) plugs his new flash mob show utterly shamelessly. I'd demand a boycott of the show after that if it wasn't for the fact that I LOVE flash mobs. I hate myself so much right now.

6. Lauren - Candle In The Wind.
A very nice performance, when she stuck to the melody as she promised to. Sadly, when she deviated- as she did a lot- it was always for the worse. But when it was good, it was very very good.

7. James - Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting).
Okay, so he went for the predictable option, but he was never going to do "Sacrifice", was he? He's starting to become the rock equivalent of Scotty, and I'm rapidly losing interest.

8. Thia - Daniel.
Thia had a fantastic opportunity with this song to blow us away. She didn't take it. But it's a step up from the last few weeks. It's a shame that she's easily the most robotic, bland performer left in the competition, given the potential in her voice.

9. Casey - Your Song.
Any other week, that performance would be dismissed as safe. As it happens, safe is exactly what Casey needs, and the admittedly faltering vocal was slavishly respectful in a way that worked. Not amazing, but I'm liking the new attitude.

10. Jacob - Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word.
The VT alone made me suspect I'd hate this performance. I was half right. The first half was spectacular- then we had the oddest off-key change in history and it was all drama, no melody. Great last note, though. J-Lo earns a slap for the first "you made it your own" of the season. And he didn't, even. So there.

11. Haley - Bennie & the Jets.
Oh no she di'n't. Oh yes she fucking did. OUT! GET OUT RIGHT NOW!!! She hit a few nice notes but GET THE FUCK OUT!!!
(I honestly didn't know this song was coming up when I wrote my opening paragraph. What a pleasant surprise!)

My top three: Naima, Lauren & Casey. I suppose. Why not, eh? Pia, Thia and Stefano all have better voices, but are performing like robots. Some much-needed pulling-up of socks is required.

My bottom three: Haley, out of principle, Jacob, for overdoing the drama, and Paul, for being Paul.

Results Show

For some reason, we're getting duets. Okay.

Lauren & Scotty: I Told You So (Carrie Underwood & Randy Travis)
Actually pretty good- Lauren in particular has never sounded better. Scotty's style works very well in a duet.
They're both safe.

Naima & Jacob - Solid (Ashford & Simpson)
Not quite as impressive. Jacob clearly has the better voice, but Naima suited the song better as Jacon overdid it a bit. Again. But there was something very... uncomfortable. Horrid dancing, the kind you'd expect at an '80s wedding, and a lack of chemistry.
Jacob's safe, Naima's not.

Season Three winner Fantasia then sings her new single, Collard Greens & Cornbread (nope, me neither), an oddly retro doo-wop diva ballad. At least it's better than J-Lo's effort. As for the performance, she was a worthy winner, and showed off her still-impressive pipes. But I was far too distracted by the ridiculously unflattering over-glam outfit, and the pastie on her head.
(I saw her on Broadway, you know! She was awesome.)

Thia, Pia and Haley - Teenage Dream (Katy Perry)
Haley was immediately off-key, Pia's voice was oddly too big for the song, and Thia stood there awkwardly, looking like she's just making up the numbers. Which, let's face it, is becoming increasingly obvious.
Pia & Haley are safe, Thia's not.

Cut to Season Eight winner Kris. Not liking the new 'do, Kris.

And then an utterly random VT (that stands for Video Tape) where they meet former idols, Muhammad Ali and learn their super mansion isn't rainproof as Lauren slips down the stairs.

Paul, Casey, James, Stefano - Band on the Run (Wings)
Paul kicks things off in his trademark tunelessness, then the others join in in harmony and, remarkably, it gets all kinds of worse. By the time they get to the chorus, it's all evened out a bit but only James comes out smelling of anything other than shite.
Casey is safe; the judges must be more relieved than he is. James and Stefano are also safe, Paul is not. Thank fuck.

Bottom three: Paul, Naima and Thia. Apparently it's another unbelievable result. Frankly, only if Paul stays.

In a move that is DEFINITELY artistic, and not at all commercial, we get a Jamie Foxx/Will.I.Am duet. If you can call it that. (Basically they want to party and samba. They must really mean it, the number of times they repeat it.) It's from the soundtrack to the forthcoming film Rio. There's literally no way you could have know if they hadn't said. Honest. I'm sure the film isn't even a 20th Century Fox film.

Paul's safe. Thia and Naima are out.
W.
T.
F???
The girls' days were numbered, no question, but NOBODY deserves to go ahead of Paul.
NOBODY!

American Idol 2011 - Top 11 - Motown

1. Casey - Heard It Through The Grapevine.
It's hard to go wrong with this song, but Seth Goon tried his best. Wasn't that keen on the pub-band bassy arrangement, but his vocals were okay. Cringing was at a minimum, compared to his previous performances. Though not entirely absent, obviously.

2. Thia - Heatwave.
Such a big song with such a big arrangement made her voice sound very small and trebly. However, what was audible was in tune and on pitch. Plus, she stuck to the melody which earns extra points from me. She's no superstar, but deserves to be here for a while yet.

3. Jacob - You're All I Need To Get By.
Finally, the performance Season 10 has been waiting for. Superb. Restrained, controlled and, most importantly, sounded fantastic.

4. Lauren - You Keep Me Hangin' On.
Easily her best performance to date. Supremely confident. Pun intended. There's something of the Kellie Pickler about her- she's not going to win, but will be fun to watch while she's here.

5. Stefano - Hello.
I can't believe ANYONE has never heard this song before! Wow. Again with the painful facial expressions and overdone melisma, but it was relatively pleasant, if a bit indulgent. J-Lo was spot on with her critique, basically saying he needs to sell the song rather than his voice. Been wishing a judge would point that out for YEARS. On ANY show.

6. Haley - You Really Got A Hold On Me.
Of all the Motown songs to choose from, why opt for the blandest, dullest, most forgettable? Growling and stomping doesn't really make up for what the song lacks, but does give some much-needed oomph, raising her overall performance up to the dizzying heights of... meh. Her best for weeks, but the weakest so far tonight.

7. Scotty - For Once In My Life.
PANIC! NO COUNTRY MOTOWN SONGS! How can a one-trick pony pull this one off? By turning a Stevie Wonder song into Lily Allen's Not Fair, that's how. Turns out the country songs Scotty sings obviously have just the one key, as here he reaches for notes he'd clearly never even heard of before. And yet he still managed to give his usual, dully competent performance. And, as always, I struggle to criticise. Or care.

8. Pia - All In Love Is Fair.
Pia wisely decides to ditch the silly disco remix this week, opting for the bland standing ballad again instead. It truly showed off her impressive pipes, but I can't say I wasn't a little bored. Vocally one of the best tonight, but again J-Lo's right. This time, about losing the finger-wagging airhorn comparisons. But fear not, she has a long way to go to be anywhere near as stiff as Rebecca Ferguson, and has a voice 1000 times better.

9. Paul - The Tracks of My Tears.
Is he still here? How? Squawking his way tunelessly through a mid-tempo semi-acoustic version, I was starting to wish for Lee Dewyze. Even the judges couldn't clap. Vocal identity is one thing, but it really needs to be for good reasons.

10. Naima - Dancing in the Streets.
Speaking of "are they still here...?" She says she wanted to honour those who have trodden the path before her. Sorry, love, but you need to take a huge diversion to go anywhere near their path. That said, it's definitely her strongest vocals so far (though I have no doubt that the lengthy drum solo helped) and I was loving the Tina Turner shoulder action. She might- MIGHT- have earned a reprieve tonight.

11. James - Living for the City.
Adam Lambert II definitely has the pipes and performance skills. It didn't exactly get me out of my seat... however, I can't fault it either.

My top 3: Jacob, Pia, Thia. James came very close, but something about it just didn't grab me this week.

My bottom 3: Haley, Scotty, Paul. Naima's earned a reprieve from me. Will America agree?

The Results Show

We kick off with clips of Marc Anthony mentoring the contestants' live performances. As Ryan explained, he's qualified because "as you know" he's married to J-Lo. Erm... okay. Nothing to do with the day job, then. But before I defend him too much, he then went on to disagree with the Mrs. over the very points for which I was praising her. Moving on, then...

Next up, the group medley. Ain't No Mountain High Enough proved ironic as the weaker contestants struggled. I could tell Paul and Naima were on-screen without looking, as they simply sounded awful. Maybe someone's lost that reprieve after all, then.

Cue Stevie Wonder with Signed, Sealed, Delivered, reminding us he hasn't sung a song worth repeating in the last 25 years, concluding with Happy Birthday for Steven Tyler. That's a 7-minute song, but fortunately they go to an ad break.

We return with some country-band fronted by a chicken-legged woman dressed like a 1980s Eurovision entry. After the very very repetitive song finishes, we learn it's Sugarland! Oh, them! Should've known. Obviously you all out there did.

Then we see the Idols discussing, obviously, wrestling. Fuck knows what it has to do with Motown, Idol or anything relevant. I'd like to think it's cashing in on the body-slammed bully on YouTube. But no. It's because Hulk Hogan is a surprise guest. I literally couldn't be less excited. Oh, he fake-punched Seacrest! Interested again. Oh. It turns out Ryan's acting is as good as his TV hosting.

We finally get to the bottom three: Thia, Stefano and Casey. We're told it's a shock result. Granted, none were in my bottom and Thia even made my top 3. Stefano has a good voice, but is too much in love with it to use it properly. Seth Goon is just the show oddity, but doesn't deserve to go yet, either.

Interestingly, the next guest is famous Idol loser-turned Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson. Appropriate, given the controversial bottom three that saw her evicted included eventual winner Fantasia. Although, according to Ryan Seacrest, she's the only Idol WINNER with an Oscar. Way to rewrite history. Twat.

Jebus, she has lost a LOT of weight. Nice performance, shame about the song. Yawn.

The results are in... and Casey's out. This could be the first potential use of the once-in-a-season judges' save. Previously, it's been wasted on contestants that left too swiftly, but this year it's been clearer who wouldn't get it.

Sure enough, barely a minute into I Don't Need No Doctor, the judges interrupt to save him. Casey virtually cardiac arrests live on TV.

Casey's breakdown was surprisingly moving and amusing. Highlights included his blow-job attempt on Seacrest and the cut to Pia whose face clearly read "that save was MINE!!!!"

Two will go next week. It'll be a bloodbath! Can't wait. See you then! ;-)

American Idol 2011 - Top 12 - Birth Year

1. Naima - What's Love Got To Do With It (1984)
Easily one of the weakest vocalists, I liked the new arrangement and her performance was certainly confident and professional. It just wasn't very pleasant to listen to. Glad the judges are finally hearing what I hear.

2. Paul - I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues (1984)
The Bradley Cooper/Joe Cocker love child also has one of the weaker voices, albeit with a certain amount of "vocal identity". The song, his voice, and the arrangement did not fit each other. At all. And it felt like he knew it. The illness excuses are coming out early this year.

3. Thia - Colours of the Wind (1995)
The more VT I see of Thia, the less I like her. There's a fine line between adorably ditzy and thick as shit, and she's crossing that line in strides. However, top tune, but bad choice. It sadly buried her voice, which was more Judy Kuhn than Vanessa Williams, but the performance was almost Rebecca, the finger-wagging air-horn soundalike from X Factor 2010, i.e. rooted to the spot.

4. James - I'll Be There For You (1989)
Obviously it'll never outdo the definitive version by Ashton Kutcher in A Lot Like Love, and it certainly hit a rough note from the offset. Another thumbs-up for the subtle update on the arrangement, although it highlighted the weediness of his voice, at least compared to that of the Jovi. But he'll be here for a while.

5. Haley - I'm Your Baby Tonight (1990)
Glad she chose the superior US Remix version to the horrid LP version we were stuck with. Sadly, she forgot reality TV Rule Number One. Do. NOT. Do. WHITNEY. Whitney herself proved that on X Factor. This song never showcased Whitney's vocals anyway. Until you hear someone else perform it like this, anyway. Not dreadful, but way way out of her depth. And that look is SOOO Elizabeth Berkeley in Saved By The Bell.

6. Stefano - If You Don't Know Me By Now (1989)
Obviously it'll never outdo the definitive version by David Brent, and I was dreading this after last week's OTT nonsense... but it wasn't as bad as I'd feared. He managed to reign it in (mostly) in a way that worked for me (extra props to mentor Jimmy Iovine for that), even if the arrangement also drowned him out a little.

7. Pia - Where Do Broken Hearts Go (1988)
Do. NOT. Do. WHITNEY. Horrible dancey arrangement that only subtracted and aged the song, rather than updated it. Vocally very strong, however. Oh, she's a boy apparently. Cheers, JLo.

8. Scotty - Can I Trust You With My Heart (1993)
Obviously a brave move to tackle such a global monster hit from 1993 (nope, me neither), Scotty drags out the same cheesily competent performance and for all I know same song as last week. And week before. And before that. I'd call him a one-trick pony if he had a trick. Or a... no, let's not go there. (Shiver.)

9. Karen - Love Will Lead You Back (1989)
Not a UK hit, but this is a song I know. Again, the arrangement drowned her out and seemed to demonstrate that she's basically a bilingual karaoke singer (cough Ruth Lorenzo cough cough). A nice voice, but she's filler.

10. Casey - Smells Like Teen Spirit (1991)
The lovechild of Seth Roegen & Alice The Goon proves he is dorky as he looks by attempting one of the coolest songs ever and failing spectacularly. Now we know why nobody's done Nirvana on Idol before. I saw The Word, even Kurt Cobain couldn't sing this live. Oh dear.

11. Lauren - I'm The Only One (1994)
Another worldwide monster smash hit (but hey, it's Melissa Etheridge, lesbians reprazent). She struggled on the lower notes, but easily her best performance so far and at times sounded great.

12. Jacob - Alone (1987)
CHOOOOON!!!! I remember Carrie Underwood nailing this. No pressure, then. Dramatic, camp and totally off-melody. Vocally, this is what I expected from Stefano. Wish Jimmy Iovine stepped in here. But then, I guess this is what makes Jacob Jacob. He'd better start to reign it in a bit, though, or he is going to piss me right off every week.

My top 3: James, Stefano, Pia.

My bottom 3: Naima, Paul, Casey

Results show;
Did they really just bleep the word "shitzu"?!?! FFS!

Musical guests (stretching the term slightly): The Black Eyed Peas and Lee Dewyze, one of the worst contestants to ever qualify, let alone win. Did his performance prove me wrong? Erm... no. And I'm sure I heard some auto-tune in there, that's quite a talent. That's what these people are competing for; to be the next... him. To be fair, it wasn't as bad as I'd expected; it was only boring and tuneless. For him, that's a very good night.

And the caption shouldn't read "James' family and friends". His name is James, not a plural of Jame.

Stefano, the vest under a see-through top is not a good look, even on you.

Bottom 3: Haley, Naima and Karen.

OUT: Karen.
One final bland performance of Hero Quando Quando Quando before it's time to say good hasta la vista.

American Idol 2011 - Live shows, week 2 - Idols

1. Lauren - Any Man Of Mine (Shania Twain)
Uh oh. Every time this has been been done in the past, it's been the kiss of death, and usually for very strong acts too. I suspect the trend may continue based on tonight's performance.

2. Casey - With A Little Help From My Friends (Joe Cocker)
More than a little bit shouty and growly. Well, it worked for Lee Dewyze. It wasn't as bad as that, but still did nothing for me.

3. Ashthon - When You Tell Me That You Love Me (Diana Ross)
Strong on the big notes, but very bad on the low notes. Overall, very disappointing, especially given that the judges saved her.

4. Paul - Come Pick Me Up (Ryan Adams)
Don't know the song, and this version was pretty dull. Another one that suffered on the low notes, but this was even worse.

5. Pia - All By Myself (Celine Dion)
Definitely the best so far, but that's no feat. Fortunately, it was a fantastic vocal by any means.

6. James - Maybe I'm Amazed (Paul McCartney)
A surprisingly MOR choice for the screecher, but he managed to squeeze a few of them in. A little shaky on some notes, but a minor quibble on another fantastic vocal.

7. Haley - Blue (LeAnn Rimes)
A tough song to sing well, but she pulled it off. Randy's comment that it was "a bit boring" is not inappropriate, however.

8. Jacob - I Believe I Can Fly (R Kelly)
The talent show staple is done yet again. Yawn. Fortunately, Jacob is usually far less boring than the song itself. But he made it interesting in a very bad way. Very shouty and off-melody. He took some risks, but yikes they didn't pay off. I don't know what the judges heard.

9. Thia - Smile (Michael Jackson)
Hilariously, has never heard of Charlie "Chapman", but she gave a captivating performance with a beautiful vocal... Then ruined it with a horrid jazzy bassline. For the record, MJ did not.

10. Stefano - Lately (Stevie Wonder)
One of my favourites has blown it. Overdoing the runs on virtually every single syllable, then made the second half even worse with a ridiculous club beat. Some ballads can survive this, but Lately isn't one of them. Possibly the worst of a very bad night.

11. Karen - No Me Queda Mas (I Could Fall In Love With You) (Selena)
Needless to say, don't know this song. It was okay, but had some rough bits. A bit too big for her.

12. Scotty - Until The River Runs Dry (Garth Brooks)
Whatever. Don't get Garth, don't get Scotty. America will no doubt love him.

13. Naima - Umbrella (Rihanna)
Another unexpected choice, I was expecting something more old school. This one only proved what a great vocalist Rihanna is and why America voted Naima out. A brief ragga and dance interlude can't disguise that. Certainly one of the more lively performances of the night though.

My top 3: Pia, Haley, James (or the first half of Thia)

My bottom 3: Naima, Jacob, Stefano.

Actual bottom 3:
Karen, Ashthon, Haley. What do I know?

Out: Ashthon.

The encore performance was a lot better, but still flawed in the lower register. This performance would have got her far more votes. The judges decided, no save. Best to save it for Pia, no doubt.

American Idol 2011 - Live Shows, Week 1 - The Results/Wildcards

Top 5 boys:
Scotty McCreery
Jacob Lusk
Casey Abrams
Paul McDonald
James Durbin

Top 5 girls:
Pia Toscano
Lauren Alania Suddeth
Karen Rodriguez
Thia Megia
Haley Reinhart

At this stage, I'd pick the following wildcards:
Stefano, Jovany and Robbie for the boys.
Lauren, Ashthon and Kendra for the girls.

Wildcard performances:

1. Ashthon Jones: And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going (Jennifer Hudson)
A very good vocal, though not convinced her voice is suited to a song quite that big.

2. Stefano Langone: I Need You Now (Smokey Robinson)
Another great vocal, and a sincerely passionate performance. Don't know the song so have no comparison, but it sounded good to me.

3. Kendra Chantelle Campbelle - Georgia On My Mind
Quite a boring performance, but a good vocal.

4. Jovany - Angel (Spanglish) (Jon Secada)
Fantastic vocal, very emotional performance.

5. Naima - For All We Know (Donny Hathaway)
Another decent performance, good vocal, a bit dull, but quite emotional. For her, anyway.

Goodbye to Ta-Tinise, Julie, Rachel, Lauren, Clint, Brett, Jim & Jordan.
Few complaints there. Just Lauren, really.

6. Robbie - Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word (Elton John)
Quite a hesitant acoustic version. Again with the yodelling. Thanks, but no thanks.

Jovany, Stefano and Ashthon for me please.

Cue JLo's new vid, feat. Pitbull. Whatever. HELLO!?!? TUNE?!?!? WHERE ARE YOU?!?!? Oh, there it is- nicked from Lambada. "Lalalalala". Wow, the creativity on display here is staggering. Hang on, is she ripping off Madonna's Ray of Light video? Looks like it to me.

And after that "spontaneous" interlude, the results are:
1. Ashthon
2. Stefano
3. Naima

So it's also goodbye to Kendra, Robbie, (good call) and poor Jovany (nooooo!)

American Idol 2011 - Live Shows, Week 1 - The Girls

1. Ta-Tynisa Wilson - Only Girl (In the World) (Rihanna)
Pitchy from the off, and it didn't improve. Yikes. JLo summed it up (unintentionally) with "It's good that it's over, right?" I'm with Randy again (although he was too generous). JLo is proving to be a fucking imbecile by championing the mediocre. Worked for her, I suppoose.

2. Naima Adedapo - Summertime (from Porgy and Bess)
Horrid up-tempo jazzy version with lots of nose-wrinkling and camp strutting. A good voice though, but not for me.

3. Kendra Chantelle Campbelle - Impossible (Christina Aguliera)
A very good performance of a meh song. A potential contender.

4. Rachel Zevita is singing “Criminal” by Fiona Apple
She threw everything into that performance, but her body was writing cheques her voice couldn't cash. To listen to, it was bloody awful.

5. Karen Rodriguez – Hero (Spanglish) (Mariah Carey)
A pretty confident performance, and a nice voice. Didn't overdo the trilling too much. Can't say the bilingual thing added anything though.

6. Lauren Turner - Seven Day Fool (Etta James/Jully Black)
Of all the songs in the world, have no idea why someone would choose that, but she did it well. With a decent song she could be amazing.

7. Ashthon Jones - Love Over Me (Monica)
Another mediocre song performed well. Cracking voice, confident performance.

8. Julie Zorilla - Breakaway (Kelly Clarkson)
Demonstrating that she has a very limited range, and changes made to the song's melody were clearly more out of necessity than design. She won't last long.

9. Haley Reinhart - Fallin' (Alicia Keys)
An obnoxious performance, but undeniably good. Well, Randy denied it...

10. Thia Megia - Out Here On My Own (Irene Cara)
Stunning voice, showstopping performance. Best so far, male or female.

11. Lauren Alania Suddeth - Turn on the Radio (Reba McIntyre)
Competently bland. More good than bad though. Could be an enjoyable watch.

12. Pia Toscano - I’ll Stand by You (The Pretenders)
Great voice, another confident performance. Definitely one to watch.

My pick for the top 5:
Pia, Thia, Ashthon, both Laurens.
Wildcard: Kendra

American Idol 2011 - Live Shows, Week 1 - The Boys

1. Clint Gamboa: Superstition (Stevie Wonder)
Decent enough voice, but performed like every other Idol contestant. Wailing off-melody is not "making it your own". Still haven't forgiven him for being a cunt in the Hollywood week. The first Steven Tyler-baiting vocal squeal of the night.

2. Jovany Barreto: I’ll Be (Edward McCain)
Hadn't heard the song before, rather liked it and he performed it well, if not impressively. He also has a very hot bod so as long as they keep showing it, he can go through.

3. Jordan Dorsey: OMG (Usher)
An even bigger cunt in the auditions, he just demonstrated how not to do it. A car crash performance which pissed all over the (already poor) melody with terrible vocals. I don't understand why he was put through in the first place. Hopefully America rectifies this.

4. Tim Halperin: Streetcorner Symphony/Come on Over (Rob Thomas)
Easily the weakest vocalist so far. Nothing here screams "star", (I don't even remember him in earlier rounds) but at least it wasn't as painfully bad as Jordan. Shouldn't get very far based on this.

5. Brett Loewenstern: Light My Fire (the Doors)
A very memorable contestant gives a very forgettable perfomance. Yet more weak vocals that only remind you how great Will Young's version was. I don't know what JLo was watching, but it was less Beyonce and more Beverley Callard.

6. James Durbin: You Got Another Thing Comin’ (Judas Priest)
The most obvious Steven Tyler-bait, with the high squeals. Definitely the best vocals so far, though the performance was very much lacking. Needs to work on his stage presence if he wants to be the new Adam Lambert, but definitely one to watch.

7. Robbie Rosen: Angel (Sarah MacLachlan)
Too much trilling for my liking, but there was a good voice underneath, should he ever decide to use it properly. I don't know WTF JLo heard, but GO RANDY!

8. Scotty McCreery: Letters From Home (John Michael Montgomery)
The perfect song choice and performed perfectly for him and his style. It might have had the rest of us reaching for the sick bag, but it was pure HIM. Cheese cheese cheese in a very VERY old-fashioned way- but more than competent, and easily top 3 so far.

9. Stefano Langone: Just The Way You Are (Bruno Mars)
He's a very pretty man, but his facial expressions make it look like he's struggling to squeeze one out. That said, it was a very good performance with some of the better vocal choices tonight (but not all of them). Another one to watch.

10. Paul McDonald – Maggie Mae (Rod Stewart)
It's Bradley Cooper doing a camp, drunken Joe Cocker impression. The vocals had a unique smoky quality, though. He should be very safe for a while, possibly another one to watch- but only if the twitchy gimmick doesn't get old. Like Taylor Hicks. Oh, hang on...

11. Jacob Lusk: House Is Not A Home (Dionne Warwick/Luther Vandross)
Darwin bless that man for doing such a dramatically camp diva performance on such a big stage, to such a homophobic crowd as America. The vocals were great, but the song is dull as dishwater. He could be phenomenal, but (despite what the judges say) he hasn't got there yet.

12. Casey Abrams: I Put A Spell On You (Nina Simone)
The bastard lovechild of Seth Rogen and Alice The Goon, and unexpecedly the one to pander to Steven Tyler the most with the squealing and yodelling. At times painful to listen to, but he's a good performer with a good voice.

My pick for the top 5:
Jovany, James, Stefano, Jacob, Scotty.
Wildcard: Paul